My Testimony

My Testimony
My life as a Christian began the summer before I turned 9 years old when I experienced the "But God" of Ephesians 2.  Brought up in a truly Christian home, I knew enough of the Scripture to be aware that I was a sinner, and my behavior proved that too.  I had harbored resentment like no body's business,  After that, I knew my heart was new because my attitude changed.  I began to care more for others than for myself.
However, I spent years in uncertainty.  I went to various gatherings, made one recommitment after another.  Then I came to the conclusion that I just had to take God at His Word and move forward.  But some years after that, He graciously showed me that I had not put all of my faith in Him; I was still unconsciously counting on human resources, and when those were taken away, I crashed and burned.  Oh, did I.  But again God showed me grace, and He has continued to.  Each of the following reflects that.
25 years
4 March 1967-4 March 1992
A silver anniversary of learning
How tarnished and fragile and vacant,
In lieu of empty, E. was...and
Didn't know she was until
4 March 1967
When the world as she was sure it was
Crashed
Brought down by a quiet telling
Fait accompli
Brought down
A paper mache life--no, more substance than that, but
No basement--bricks perhaps but on sand...and
Razed so even the sand showed no marking of
E.'s residence there.
E.'s no longer at that address.  Her home is
Smaller and in a tellingly obscure neighborhood
Compared to halcyon sand dunes
Carved instead into rock
Baring that for base
Using the carvee stones
For walls, the roof still
Open to the elements
Habitable enough
And growingly grateful as
The Creator of the world is recreating E. and
E.'s world, reality, rock, solidly His.
20 years after 25 years
I can testify to the serenity of a life committed to
Living in humble dwellings,
Living carefully, prudently,
Not so rashly
Not so proudly
Of course there have been times of pride
Of course there have been times of rashness
But totally by the grace of God
I can testify to the serenity of a life committed to
Living in humble dwellings, carefully, prudently, praying as the Lord did,
Not my will but Yours be done, and
If the Lord wills we will live and do this or that.
I can testify to the overwhelming, overarching, undergirding grace;
Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.
The Fullness of Joy
What joy is mine
Because
God did what only God could
What I would not have done
What I would not have known
What I would not have believed
Had to be done
God
Who alone could
Did.
The Sovereign
Gave His Only Begotten Son
The Only from the Only
One
Who having been given, gave
And being the gift
My life did save
When I had no clue
He did what only He could do.
How awesome in the fullest sense
And how patient He when I an dense
How could I feel any other feeling
Or feel anything other than reeling
With joy and amazement and tears
As I commit to Him what is left of my years,
To obey as I trust
My heart beats as it must
Full of joy unlike I expected
Full of Him, by the Spirit connected
Full of joy for Grace Enfleshed
Full of joy in His life enmeshed
Full of joy for what's ahead
I bow to Him, our living Head.