July 1997 Prayer

I wrote this while waiting to have surgery scheduled.
July 1997 Prayer
Learning to live with uncertainty,
Taking my eyes off of me,
Striving for humility,
Teach me, Lord, to trust more fully.
Learning to live responsibly,
Living each day more fully,
Striving to do what's needed for me,
Teach me, Lord, to serve humbly.
Trusting You for each day alone,
Staying within that limited zone,
Quietly focused on what I must do,
Seeking to be more like You.
Striving to be more disciplined,
To love the Word and hate my sin,
Waiting on, and hoping for,
The One True Lord whom I adore.
Take me, teach me, mold me,
That I might one day be
Fully in the image
Of the One who died for me.

March 1986 Epiphany

March 1986 Epiphany
repetitive reflexes relax responsibly.
there is something to be said,
but who am I to say it?
simpler to self-surround
with written sound.
and on the Thursday last,
sitting at a blond round table
which was thoroughly engraved
with collegiate graffiti,
sitting
annotating THE DIVINE IMPERATIVE,
merely being
there
three months prior to
the fifteenth anniversary of my death
in Minneapois' General Hospital,
again the question:
why do I live again?
but
this time, and from this time,
answered:
because it is His good pleasure.

Two on contentment

Learning to be content
1.
Learning to be content,
To deal with change and
To be content,
Requires a lot of lessons,
Individual assignments,
And, sigh, discipline.
Learning to be content
Requires remedial work
At times.
Learning to be content
Calls for directing
Short term and long term goals
With/within God's parameters.
Learning to be content
Requires coming to grips with
And being gripped by
God As Sovereign,
As my Sovereign.
Learning to be content
Requires being conformed
To Him.
2.
Learning to cope with change
Requires commitment to
The Changeless One, and to
The Word given by
The Changeless One.
Learning to cope with change
Requires knowing and being known by
The Changeless One,
Learning requires a willingness to admit
I don't know/and to learn what I am, even if it is not
What I prefer.

My Testimony

My Testimony
My life as a Christian began the summer before I turned 9 years old when I experienced the "But God" of Ephesians 2.  Brought up in a truly Christian home, I knew enough of the Scripture to be aware that I was a sinner, and my behavior proved that too.  I had harbored resentment like no body's business,  After that, I knew my heart was new because my attitude changed.  I began to care more for others than for myself.
However, I spent years in uncertainty.  I went to various gatherings, made one recommitment after another.  Then I came to the conclusion that I just had to take God at His Word and move forward.  But some years after that, He graciously showed me that I had not put all of my faith in Him; I was still unconsciously counting on human resources, and when those were taken away, I crashed and burned.  Oh, did I.  But again God showed me grace, and He has continued to.  Each of the following reflects that.
25 years
4 March 1967-4 March 1992
A silver anniversary of learning
How tarnished and fragile and vacant,
In lieu of empty, E. was...and
Didn't know she was until
4 March 1967
When the world as she was sure it was
Crashed
Brought down by a quiet telling
Fait accompli
Brought down
A paper mache life--no, more substance than that, but
No basement--bricks perhaps but on sand...and
Razed so even the sand showed no marking of
E.'s residence there.
E.'s no longer at that address.  Her home is
Smaller and in a tellingly obscure neighborhood
Compared to halcyon sand dunes
Carved instead into rock
Baring that for base
Using the carvee stones
For walls, the roof still
Open to the elements
Habitable enough
And growingly grateful as
The Creator of the world is recreating E. and
E.'s world, reality, rock, solidly His.
20 years after 25 years
I can testify to the serenity of a life committed to
Living in humble dwellings,
Living carefully, prudently,
Not so rashly
Not so proudly
Of course there have been times of pride
Of course there have been times of rashness
But totally by the grace of God
I can testify to the serenity of a life committed to
Living in humble dwellings, carefully, prudently, praying as the Lord did,
Not my will but Yours be done, and
If the Lord wills we will live and do this or that.
I can testify to the overwhelming, overarching, undergirding grace;
Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.
The Fullness of Joy
What joy is mine
Because
God did what only God could
What I would not have done
What I would not have known
What I would not have believed
Had to be done
God
Who alone could
Did.
The Sovereign
Gave His Only Begotten Son
The Only from the Only
One
Who having been given, gave
And being the gift
My life did save
When I had no clue
He did what only He could do.
How awesome in the fullest sense
And how patient He when I an dense
How could I feel any other feeling
Or feel anything other than reeling
With joy and amazement and tears
As I commit to Him what is left of my years,
To obey as I trust
My heart beats as it must
Full of joy unlike I expected
Full of Him, by the Spirit connected
Full of joy for Grace Enfleshed
Full of joy in His life enmeshed
Full of joy for what's ahead
I bow to Him, our living Head.

Three Reflections on a Christian's Death

Three Reflections on a Christian's Death

After a sudden death

Death
Is hard to face
No matter how you brace
Your mind and feelings.
Still
It sends you reeling.
Mourn and grieve
Until relieved,
But don't forget the good.
Seek to cherish memories--
Both fond and less pleasant.
Remembering can heal,
Bring balance.
Yes,
Death is real
But life is forever.
Yes,
Cry, ask why, and sigh--
Or whatever form of mourning is your style.
Not denial.
And hold fast, firm, like a dying woman
To the Word of life.
God knows death.
He gave His Son to conquer it.
Someday
It too will bow the knee,
Proclaim the victory and Victor.
So as you weep and miss his still,
Lean every more heavily on our Lord
And the infinity of His will.
He mourns too and knows your sorrow.
He alone goes before us to every tomorrow.
So mourner you aren't alone in sorrow or joy or pain,
Hold fast to Christ--He'll always remain
Within reach of your heart
And from His sight you'll never depart.
Hold fast to all the truth and trust;
He will see you through.

On the death of those younger: it seems like tragedy

Hearing of the homegoing
Unexpected but to God
Our lives measured
Determined each span
Illness or accident
Swift or extended
Short or so short the life
By memory extended
Let us mourn, in grief rejoice
That one so young so soon hears God's voice
Enters joyful into heaven
Let our mourning joyful be
And homegoing crave for you and me
Should our years the Lord extend
A glorious entrance our desired end

When and why does a Christian die?

A Christian's death comes when he has completed the tasks
His Lord asks--
And then comes the rest
And then comes the glory
And then comes the seeing
And then death is the means
To life in its fullness for
Life is being with and like Christ.

How Much More Strong

I wrote this many years ago for friends facing significant health issues regarding their children.  I know of others now facing similar circumstances.  This is for you.

How Much More Strong is God

How sad this crisis
Yet
How much more strong is God.
How emotional we mortals
Yet
How perfect is God's understanding of us.
How feeble we
Yet
How powerful He.

To whom can we turn
When with passions we burn
On whom can we lean
When weakness we keen
In whom can we comfort find
When we feel we are losing our mind?

There is only One but in that One alone
Will be all we need in our hurting zone.

There is no weakness in being weak;
His is the grace we must seek;
His the wisdom we so need;
Ask, He will not call it greed.
Ask, compassion He will proffer
From His everlasting coffer.
Ask, weeping, without strength;
His will take you the full length
Of each day;
Trust and pray.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be removed into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling
(Psalm 46:1-3; ESV)

Identity

Identity

You can go to either a dictionary or a thesaurus or to dictionary.com on line and find a fascinating selection of definitions. 
I had drafted both a long and a short piece on identity from my perspective--of course it would be from mine, as I am me--and perhaps one of these week's I will post those, but not today.
Why not?  Because Sunday night, February 12, Austin Duncan opened Psalm 139 and preached on identity to the Grace Community Church congregation, and what he had to say is more eternally important than what I would have posted here. 
The message isn't up on the church website yet but I would encourage you to check here for it:
www.gracechurch.org/media as that is where it is most likely to appear.  To quote Austin,
"Knowing God is the key to knowing who you are."

Sovereign, Sovereignty

Because we do not live under a monarchy, it is easy to lack appreciation for God as Sovereign.
Sovereign, Sovereignty
According to the M-W dictionary,
A sovereign [noun] is one possessing or held to posses sovereignty;
One that exercises supreme authority within a limited sphere;
An acknowledged leader: ARBITER.
A sovereign [adjective] is defined as
Superlative in quality: EXCELLENT;
Of the most exalted kind: SUPREME;
Having generalized curative powers;
Of an unqualified nature: UNMITIGATED;
Having undisputed ascendancy: PARAMOUNT;
Possessed of supreme power;
Unlimited in extent: ABSOLUTE;
Enjoying autonomy: INDEPENDENT;
Relating to, characteristic or, or befitting a sovereign;
Synonyms see FREE.
What a lot of words for sovereign [noun] and sovereign [adjective];
And yet, and yet
They only begin to describe
The Sovereign.
He is indeed arbiter/lawgiver/judge
He is in all ways excellent
He is the most supreme
He is unmitigated in holiness
He is paramount in perfection
He is absolute governor as sustainer as creator
He is independent in ways we creatures cannot conceive of
He has a freedom of which we cannot imagine.
And yet, and yet,
These words only begin;
The Word is--without beginning, without end--
With control of all,
Even the most mundane of life's details
As well as the most critical [seemingly critical].
He rules over all invisible [except to Him]
He rules over all visible
He rules over all time and
Over all space and
Over all created beings and
Over all created other.
No detail escapes His notice;
No technology is beyond His grasp;
No relationships are too boring for His interest.
What comfort!
Amazing,
Grace.

Musings on a Tuesday Morning at the end of January

Musings on a Tuesday Morning at the End of January

Reading in Exodus, the time leading up to, during, following that event which was pivotal in Israel's history, I am struck by this:  as long as they were miserable, fearing for their lives, even in the time immediately following their escape/deliverance, the Israelites were obedient.  But days later, not only did their obedience flag, they began to complain about their circumstances and their leaders--not necessarily in that order.

What difference is there between them and us?  As the hymn puts it, "Fast bound in sin and nature's night," we called for deliverance.  When God graciously granted it, how long did we really give thanks before we began to grumble about this, that, and the other thing?  This brings me back to 1 Corinthians 10 where we read, "Now these things took place as examples for us" (verse 6).  This is an instructive chapter, one worth reading parallel to Exodus.

Don't miss these verses in 1 Corinthians 10: "Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (verses 12-13).

I am thankful for both the warning of verse 12 and  the promise of verse 13. 

Revisiting my seven-year plan

Revisiting my seven-year plan

It seems appropriate to revisit my seven-year plan as this is both the last day of January 2012 and a Tuesday--the day we used to visit our friend Jean.

What have I done as regards my health?  More visits to more doctors and more tests and more medicine.  At my age, what can I expect but that?  I am thankful to live in a country where those are possible.

What have I done as regards my soul?  Sought to spend more time reading the Bible and some additional books, loading my Kindle appropriately, and trying to remember to keep its battery charged.

What have I taken to heart as regards my spirit?  Actually this passage applies to all aspects of life:

"Look carefully then how you walk [live], not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be willed with [controlled by] the Spirit, addressing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:15-20; ESV).