First, a prayer request, if you read this. Pray for Cris T. who broke her hip and is scheduled for surgery today. After the surgery, she'll be in hospital for a week or so, then in a rehabilitation residence, if I understood correctly, before being able to go home.

My surgery was planned weeks in advance but this came about under different circumstances.

After my surgery, which did take place as scheduled because that was God's will, came the time of recovery. I did not respond well to not being well, as the following entries illustrate.

[1]
It's hard to be this weak, this needy, this depepndent,
When I'm so used to
Making Garry's lunch and cleaning up after meals,
Doing laundry and ironing,
Dusting and vacuuming,
Moving things around,
It's hard to ask for help.

I wish I could go away until I'm strong
Until I am healed
Until I am not a burden
Until I am not needy

I wish I could go away
Not burden Garry day after day with my weaknesses

I wish I could

I wish I could
Not be a drag
Not wear him down but huild him up

It's hard to be this weak, this needy, this dependent,
So easily exhausted,
Looking so well when I'm not

It's hard

[2]
Alone, I can cry,
But otherwise must put a bold face on,
A face of mask;
Do not ask which face I show to you;
Knowing will not do;
Alone, I can cry;
God alone knows why.
God alone my comfort is,
God alone my strength,
God alone, before whom alone
I can cry.